Funny papers

This is a collection of papers I find weird, funny, or just caught my attention. I don't mean to bash other people's work; I believe in the scientific process. Referees of the field are the most able people to decide if something is worth publishing.

But you know, some are really funny.

Lynn M.
Determinants and Consequences of Female Attractiveness and Sexiness: Realistic Tests with Restaurant Waitresses
Archives of sexual behavior (2009) 38:737-745. doi:10.1007/s10508-008-9379-0
[...] the waitresses' tips varied with age in a negative, quadratic relationship, increased with breast size, increased with having blond hair, and decreased with body size [...]
Meyer-Rochow VB, Gal J.
Pressures produced when penguins pooh—calculations on avian defaecation
Polar Biology (2003) 27:56-58. doi:10.1007/s00300-003-0563-3
[...] we calculated that fully grown penguins generate pressures of around 10 kPa (77 mm Hg) to expel watery material and 60 kPa (450 mm Hg) to expel material of higher viscosity similar to that of olive oil. The forces involved, lying well above those known for humans, are high, but do not lead to an energetically wasteful turbulent flow. Whether a bird chooses the direction into which it decides to expel its faeces, and what role the wind plays in this, remain unknown.
Surg D.
Red hot chilli consumption is harmful in patients operated for anal fissure - a randomized, double-blind, controlled study
Digestive Surgery (2007) 24:354-357. doi:10.1159/000107716
The global scores for postoperative pain (7.60 in chilli group and 2.95 in control group, p < 0.001) and for anal burning (8.85 for the chilli group vs. 4.21 for the control group, p < 0.0001) were significant.
Rahimi A, Recht B, Taylor J, Vawter N.
On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study
Unpublished. link
Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.
Mayer J, Khairy K, Howard J.
Drawing an elephant with four complex parameters
American Journal of Physics (2010) 78(6):648-649. doi:10.1119/1.3254017
We define four complex numbers representing the parameters needed to specify an elephantine shape.
Neave N, McCarty K, Freynik J, Caplan N, Hönekopp, Fink B.
Male dance moves that catch a woman's eye
Biology letters (2010). doi:10.1098/rsbl.2010.0619
Nineteen males were recorded using the ‘Vicon' motion-capture system while dancing to a basic rhythm [...] Linear regression subsequently revealed that three movement measures were key predictors of dance quality; these were variability and amplitude of movements of the neck and trunk, and speed of movements of the right knee. In summary, we have identified specific movements within men's dance that influence women's perceptions of dancing ability
Platek SM, Singh D.
Optimal Waist-to-Hip Ratios in Women Activate Neural Reward Centers in Men
Plos One (2010) 5(2):e9042. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0009042
Here, using fMRI, we found that males show activation in brain reward centers in response to naked female bodies [...] These findings suggest that an hourglass figure (i.e., an optimal WHR) activates brain centers that drive appetitive sociality/attention toward females that represent the highest-quality reproductive partners
Isaac RE, Li C, Leedale AE, Shirras AD.
Drosophila male sex peptide inhibits siesta sleep and promotes locomotor activity in the post-mated female
Proceedings of the Royal Society of Biological Sciences (2010) 277(1678):65-70. doi:10.1098/rspb.2009.1236
[...] females sleep much less than males during day-time, presumably because reproductive success requires greater foraging activity by the female [...] Copulation results in the female losing 70 per cent of day-time sleep and becoming more active. [... but... ] we show that virgin females can minimize this risk [...] with an extended afternoon 'siesta'
Mozny M, Tolasz R, Nekovar J, Sparks T, Trnka M, Zalud Z.
The impact of climate change on the yield and quality of Saaz hops in the Czech Republic
Agricultural and Forest Meterorology (2009) 149(6-7):913-919. doi: 10.1016/j.agrformet.2009.02.006
Simulations using future climate predict a decline in both yields, of up to 7–10%, and α-acid content, of up to 13–32%, the latter a major determinant of quality [...] Policy assistance may be necessary for the adaptation of the Czech hop growing industry to changed climatic conditions
Scurr JC, White JL, Hedger W.
The effect of breast support on the kinematics of the breast during the running gait cycle
Journal of Sports Sciences (2010) 28(10). doi:10.1080/02640414.2010.497542
Fifteen females ran at 2.8 m · s−1 in no bra, an everyday bra, and a sports bra. Three-dimensional coordinates of breast and body markers were tracked during ten gait cycles and following each trial the participants rated their breast comfort.
Chanteau SH, Tour JM
Synthesis of Anthropomorphic Molecules: The NanoPutians
Journal of Organic Chemistry (2003) 68(23):8750-8766. doi:10.1021/jo0349227
Described here are the synthetic details en route to an array of 2-nm-tall anthropomorphic molecules in monomeric, dimeric, and polymeric form. These anthropomorphic figures are called, as a class, NanoPutians
Olszewski EA.
From baking a cake to solving the diffusion equation
American Journal of Physics (2006) 74(6):502. doi:10.1119/1.2186330
We explain how modifying a cake recipe by changing either the dimensions of the cake or the amount of cake batter alters the baking time [...] obtain a semiempirical relation for the baking time as a function of oven temperature, initial temperature of the cake batter, and dimensions of the unbaked cake. The relation, which is based on the diffusion equation [...] takes into account the evaporation of moisture at the top surface of the cake, which is the dominant factor affecting the baking time of a cake.
Choi IH, Kim KH, Jung H, Yoon SJ, Kim SW, Kim TB.
Second to fourth digit ratio: a predictor of adult penile length.
Asian Journal of Andrology (2011) advance online publication. doi:10.1038/aja.2011.75
In this study, we investigated the relationship between digit ratio and penile length [...] Under anaesthesia, flaccid and stretched penile lengths were measured by another investigator [...] Univariate and multivariate analysis using linear regression models showed that only height was a significant predictive factor for flaccid penile length [...] and that only digit ratio was a significant predictive factor for stretched penile length. [...] we suggest that the digit ratio can predict adult penile size and that the effects of prenatal testosterone may in part explain the differences in adult penile length.
DeLorenzo R.
When Hell Freezes Over: An Approach To Develop Student Interest and Communication Skills.
Journal of Chemical Education (1999) 76(4):503. doi:10.1021/ed076p503
According to the Bible (Rev. 21:8), hell is a lake of fire and brimstone [...] hell's temperature must be between sulfur's melting and boiling points, 246 and 832 F, respectively. [...] However, since hell is eternal, its temperature could not be at or anywhere near sulfur's boiling point. On the other hand, if hell were at 246 F, it could freeze over. Since hell will never freeze over, its temperature is slightly above 246 F.
Bernstein M, Monroy-Hernández A, Harry D, André P, Panovich K, Vargas G.
4chan and /b/: An Analysis of Anonymity and Ephemerality in a Large Online Community
Fifth International AAAI Conference on Weblogs and Social Media. link
we explore how /b/ succeeds despite being almost entirely anonymous and extremely ephemeral [...] We find that most threads spend just five seconds on the first page and less than five minutes on the site before expiring. Our second study is an analysis of identity signals on 4chan, finding that over 90% of posts are made by fully anonymous users
Zongker D
Chicken Chicken Chicken: Chicken Chicken
AAAS humor session, February 16, 2007. link
Chicken, chicken-chicken chicken chicken—chicken chicken, chicken chicken 95% chicken chicken-chicken chicken, chicken chicken chicken chicken—chicken chicken chicken chicken. Chicken, chicken chicken, chicken chicken chicken 1987.
Zubizarreta JI, Pinto G
An ancient method for cooling water explained by mass and heat transfer
Chemical Engineering Education (1995) (29):96-99. link
We poured 3.161 kg of water at 39.0°C into the botijo [...] We observed that the water temperature fell quickly (in about seven hours) to about 24°C, with a loss of mass of about 400g
Unger DL
Does knuckle cracking lead to arthritis of the fingers?
Arthritis & Rheumatism (2004) 41(5):949-950. link
During the author's childhood, various renowned authorities (his mother, several aunts, and, later, his mother-in-law [personal communication]) informed him that cracking his knuckles would lead to arthritis of the fingers [...] For 50 years, the author cracked the knuckles of his left hand at least twice a day, leaving those on the right as a control. Thus, the knuckles on the left were cracked at least 36,500 times
Leuner B et al.
Sexual Experience Promotes Adult Neurogenesis in the Hippocampus Despite an Initial Elevation in Stress Hormones
PLoS ONE 5(7):e11597. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0011597
Chronic sexual experience no longer produced an increase in corticosterone levels but continued to promote adult neurogenesis and stimulate the growth of dendritic spines and dendritic architecture. Chronic sexual experience also reduced anxiety-like behavior. These findings suggest that a rewarding experience not only buffers against the deleterious actions of early elevated glucocorticoids but actually promotes neuronal growth and reduces anxiety.
Stefik A et al.
An Empirical Comparison of the Accuracy Rates of Novices using the Quorum, Perl, and Randomo Programming Languages
Evaluation and Usability of Programming Languages and Tools (PLATEAU) 2011. link
[...] we call Randomo a Placebo-language, where some of the syntax was chosen with a random number generator and the ASCII table. [...] Perl users were unable to write programs more accurately than those using a language designed by chance
Schwartz MA.
The importance of stupidity in scientific research
Journal of Cell Science (2008) Jun 1;121(Pt 11):1771. doi:10.1242/jcs.03334
[...] we don't do a good enough job of teaching our students how to be productively stupid — that is, if we don't feel stupid it means we're not really trying. [...] Productive stupidity means being ignorant by choice. Focusing on important questions puts us in the awkward position of being ignorant. One of the beautiful things about science is that it allows us to bumble along, getting it wrong time after time, and feel perfectly fine as long as we learn something each time.
Radvansky GA et al.
Walking through doorways causes forgetting: Further explorations
The Quarterly journal of experimental phsychology 2011, 64 (8), 1632-1645. doi:10.1080/17470218.2011.571267
Previous research using virtual environments has revealed a location-updating effect in which there is a decline in memory when people move from one location to another. [...] In sum, walking through doorways serves as an event boundary, thereby initiating the updating of one's event model
Jamtvedt G et al.
Chocolate bar as an incentive did not increase response rate among physiotherapists: a randomised controlled trial
BMC Research Notes (2008) 1:34. doi:10.1186/1756-0500-1-34
Norwegian physiotherapists from private practice were randomised in blocks [...] A bar of dark chocolate did not increase response rate in a prospective study of physiotherapy performance. Stronger incentives than chocolate seem to be necessary to increase the response rate among professionals who are asked to report about their practice.
Shohat-Opir G et al.
Sexual Deprivation Increases Ethanol Intake in Drosophila
Science 16 March 2012: 335 (6074), 1351-1355. doi:10.1126/science.1215932
The brain’s reward systems reinforce behaviors required for species survival, including sex, food consumption, and social interaction [...] In males, mating increased, whereas sexual deprivation reduced, neuropeptide F (NPF) levels. Activation or inhibition of the NPF system in turn reduced or enhanced ethanol preference. These results thus link sexual experience, NPF system activity, and ethanol consumption.
Demaine ED et al.
Picture-hanging puzzles
Proceedings of the Sixth International Conference on Fun with Algorithms. link
We show how to hang a picture by wrapping rope around n nails, making a polynomial number of twists, such that the picture falls whenever any k out of the n nails get removed
Johns SE et al.
Red Is Not a Proxy Signal for Female Genitalia in Humans
PLoS ONE 7(4): e34669. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0034669
Red is a colour that induces physiological and psychological effects in humans [...] associated with increased sexual attractiveness [...] we show that contrary to the hypothesis, heterosexual men did not prefer redder female genitalia [...] We found a relative preference for pinker genital images.
Jarosz AF, Colflesh GJH, Wiley J.
Uncorking the muse: Alcohol intoxication facilitates creative problem solving
Consciousness and Cognition 21 (2012) 487-493. doi:10.1016/j.concog.2012.01.002
That alcohol provides a benefit to creative processes has long been assumed by popular culture [...] Individuals were brought to a blood alcohol content of approximately .075, and, after reaching peak intoxication, completed a battery of RAT items. Intoxicated individuals solved more RAT items, in less time, and were more likely to perceive their solutions as the result of a sudden insight.
Moeliker CW.
The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae)
Deinsea 8:243-247. link
[...] an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass façade of the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam and died. An other drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for 75 minutes. Then the author disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck. Dissection showed that the rape-victim indeed was of the male sex. [...] the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.
Mayer HC, Krechetnikov R.
Walking with coffee: Why does it spill?
Physical Review E 85, 046117 (2012). doi:10.1103/PhysRevE.85.046117
In our busy lives, almost all of us have to walk with a cup of coffee. While often we spill the drink, this familiar phenomenon has never been explored systematically. Here we report on the results of an experimental study of the conditions under which coffee spills for various walking speeds and initial liquid levels in the cup.
Dolgin E.
Real Males Eat Yogurt
Scientific American (May 2012), 306, 26. doi:10.1038/scientificamerican0512-26b
[the male mice] projected their testes outward, which endowed them with a certain “m"mouse swagger" [...] the testicles of the yogurt consumers were about 5 percent heavier than those of mice fed typical diets alone and around 15 percent heavier than those of junk-eating males [...] yogurt-eating males inseminated their partners faster and produced more offspring than control mice. Conversely, females that ate the yogurt diets gave birth to larger litters and weaned those pups with greater success..